Plop Plop, Hers His, Oh What a Relief It Is
Bumming around Japan in Style with the Toto Washlet
Most things in Japan are small. The term “water closet” is probably the best choice in terms for Japanese bathrooms for they typically are no bigger than small bedroom closets. However, what they lack in space they almost always make up for in features. Most bathrooms in this country are equipped with, lo and behold…(pause for dramatic effect)…a Toto Washlet!
There might not be much time to oogle and ogle during your first encounter with a Washlet a few moments after exiting your plane since you’ll likely have much more important matters to take care of. After a long day of transit overseas, you may be in no mood to try to figure anything out besides the almighty flush. You’ll probably just want to wrap up, clean up, and head to bed.
Thankfully, most Japanese bathrooms come equipped with a faithful roll of traditional toilet paper standing by at the ready for backup. However, once you’ve settled in a bit, take a closer look. Your biggest challenge may be to muster up enough courage to use some of the most basic yet unfamiliar features let alone any of the more advanced ones. With a cool looking control panel filled with all kinds of buttons, lights, tones, icons and cool looking graphics, these toilets seem to be able to do it all.
I’m not sure if it was a frustrating flushing experience that first shied me away from using any Washlet features besides anything labeled “flush” on my first Japan trip or if it was my trepidation of having a water jet of unknown force squirt where no water jet had ever squirted before, but over the length of that whole first trip, I never used any of the “cleaning options” beyond the old school toilet paper method.
Like me, it may take you multiple visits to finally get up the nerve to truly test out all the features of the Washlet and its faithful companion, the control panel. Pick a time when you’re not desperately tired, have some privacy, and can spend a little more time to figure it all out behind closed doors. Sometimes there’s a simpler option too, though you may not want to exercise it.
All the Toto features usually do what the are supposed to do, at least as depicted on the pictograms. After a few whoas and yikes and yowzas, you just may have it all set to your preferences and you may be able to see some light at the end of the tunnel. Oh, do these things have lights too?
But a word of advice to Washlet novices. You may not want to use all of the features available to you all at once, only some of them when the timing is right. It’s kind of like all the bells and whistles in your car. How often do you drive around with the sunroof open, windows rolled down, windshield wipers going, music playing full blast, navigation system on, air conditioner at max, seat warmers on high, hazard lights flashing and a couple of kids in back watching a movie at full volume?
Also like cars, not all models are created equal. Few are fully loaded. Thankfully, there is rarely a toilet in Japan that isn’t well equipped with stock features that would otherwise leave you (or something else) hanging. If you’re there for an extended trip, you’ll likely come across at least one model that has just about every available option installed.
Here’s a rundown on some of the features and upgrades you may find ready at (or for) your disposal as you travel the country on your Toto tour:
Seat Lowerer: Automatically lowers the seat without having to touch it - yay!
Seat Heater: Your choice of temperature, sometimes with a pre-heat setting.
Front Wand: For the ladies.
Rear Wand: Need I say more?
Wand Adjustment: Move either wand slightly up or down if not in the exact right spot…no need to move your bum!
Water Temperature: For people unaccustomed to just how cold the local water supply can be.
Water Pressure: Take your pick.
Water Stream: Would you like constant or pulsating this fine morning, sir or madam?
Timer: Lest you forget you’re not sitting on a couch reading a book.
Blow Dryer: In the event you run out of toilet paper.
Power Deodorizer: Hmmmm…I’m not sure about this one. I don’t wear scents.
Different Flushing Modes: Light, Heavy, Eco. Just like your dishwasher.
Auto Flush: No need to press any buttons with soiled fingers - seat sensors detect when you get off the toilet and it flushes automatically.
Wand Cleaner: For when things get a bit out of control.
Bowl Cleaner: Kind of like your oven I guess.
Stop: There’s always gotta be an E-stop.
What’s been amazing is seeing where some of the best equipped Washlet models are installed. Where? Yup, you guessed it…public bathrooms. Trains. Train stations. Subway stations. Temples. Malls. Convenience stores. City parks.
The most surprising thing to see, especially for us Americans, is that all of these public bathrooms seem to be immaculately maintained not just by “staff” (which one sees quite regularly) but by regular users like you and me. When you see a sign that says “please help keep our bathroom clean,” you can bet that a culture of rule followers will fall in line. Over a combined total of two months traveling throughout Japan, I can think of only once or twice when I’ve seen pee on the toilet seat or where’s there’s been even a scrap of toilet paper on the floor. No seat coverings are supplied or even needed here as far as I can tell.
In the US, I will often take great lengths to avoid sitting on a public toilet seat. When there’s no other choice, I sometimes cringe about the mini public health crisis I’m walking into as I lock the door behind me. But in Japan I can trust that everything is well maintained, clean, sanitized, and surprisingly well equipped! When you’re traveling into the heart of a major city, it is so nice having all these toilets around that you can quickly find, trust, and fully enjoy.
So, go out and support your local Toto dealer. Time to evolve! Buy a Washlet. Just maybe during the next nationwide toilet paper shortage, you too can be singing a happy little Alka-Seltzer-like-jingle instead of the supply-chain-shortage-blues.
